Seventh grade ended with a dance on Friday night. All the eighth graders were there too, including Danielle and Keisha. At first it was weird being at school at night. With the lights dimmed, it felt like we weren't supposed to be there. During the day, it's bright and colorful and all the tables and chairs and blackboards are being used for things they're supposed to be used for. But at night, with Top 40 music blasting out of a boombox, it felt like we were trespassing.

There was a bowl of punch, and a bowl of chips. The area we usually have our meetings in the morning was cleared away so we could dance and someone hung a disco ball from the ceiling. For the longest time the no one would dance. Music played and the white lights circled around the room. The 7th and 8th grade girls talked in the corner. The 8th grade boys stood apart from the 7th grade boys. We all just hung out doing nothing. Then Danielle and Keisha, two eighth grade girls started to dance and everything changed. They're the best looking girls in the school by far and both take dance classes so they looked normal out there and everyone watched.

I go to a really small school. There's only 12 kids in my class and I've known them all since Kindergarten. But as small as the school is, kids from different grades don't really hang out together. So even though I know Danielle and Keisha I don't really know them. They're definitely older girls. Just like the eighth grade boys are older boys and you don't mess with them.

After we watched Danielle and Keisha dance for a while, I thought I caught Danielle looking at me. Usually when I get the feeling a girl likes me, it doesn't bug me too much but when she looked at me and smiled, I couldn't think straight. All I could do was think about dancing with her but I couldn't get my feet to move me onto the dance floor. I like to dance. My sister taught me all kinds of dance moves when I was a little kid and I can still do most of them so I'm not embarrassed to dance or anything, but with Danielle out there moving around, I just couldn't do it. But I couldn't look away either.

Eventually I wound up dancing in a big circle with the other seventh graders and after a few songs, I noticed I was standing closer to Danielle, then she was facing more towards me, then we finally faced each other and were dancing together. We never talked at all before and didn't talk then either, but we were definitely dancing together now. We would do each other's moves and smile and then look away and keep dancing. I would try a move and if I did it right, I'd look to make sure she saw it and she always did. We didn't touch or hold hands or anything but we were definitely dancing together. No doubt about it.

Then a slow song came on. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. I know it's cheesy but for some reason that song has always fucked me up. I've never danced to a slow song but I know what you're supposed to do. I saw Darren put his hands on Lauren's hips and Lauren put her arms on Darren's shoulders. The same happened with Josh and Karen. Then Danielle just put her hands on my neck. Not on my shoulders but clasped around my neck. Her arms were bent too, which brought me close to her. I put my hands on her hips and they were much softer than I thought they'd be. Halfway through the song, she hugged me and we rocked back and forth until the song ended. I could hear her whispering the lyrics, like she was singing them to me. Her boobs slid back and forth over my chest. It was crazy.

Later, before I went back to Darren's house for the night, Danielle asked me to sign her graduation yearbook. I wrote that I'd miss her and wished her luck, then gave her the book back. Then she kissed me. On the mouth. Her lips were open and her breath was hot. I could taste her. It was the first time I ever tasted someone. It wasn't like I expected. It didn't taste like anything I'd ever tasted before. Somewhere between meat and candy. But girl flavor is good. After the kiss was over, I had no idea what to say but she's older and didn't seem weirded out by it. She just smiled and said goodbye. That was that. I left with Darren and we walked the six blocks back to his house.

I didn't talk to Darren about dancing with Danielle or the kiss. We don't talk about girls. I  don't talk about girls with anyone actually. But I'm starting to think about them more. Next year, I think Karen from my class is going to be my girlfriend.